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Feminist Apparel: Stop Over-sexualizing Me Apparel.

Feminism in the workplace.

Is it safe in 2019 to expose yourself as a feminist in a corporate environment?

For some maybe not, and not everyone needs to be a martyr. So if you don't have the privilege, you are welcome in my book to stay hush!

However, for those of us, like myself, that are privileged enough to have a support system to catch us, including our own personal savings, in the event the company takes action against you - run wild, sister.

 I was recently invited to a company wide trip to a male baseball game, and I declined. I even went as far as to email my HR department stating, "I boycott male sports". I am only a little nervous that they will take action, as it is a start-up. However, going would make my blood boil and possibly make me vomit, so no thanks.

 I make it a point to be an activist in my daily life, as I am absolutely OVER being surrounded by men who speak over me, speak more than me on topics they aren't as well versed on, and being HEARD and agreed with more than me. I also would argue that it will only make you feel stronger, the next time.

 Here are some ways you can be an activist in your male dominated work-space:

1. Ask HR to start a Women's Empowerment Group (and invite the men!), you need men on your side, be open to bi-partisanship
2. Start a diversity & inclusion committee and prioritize black women. Don't make it all about feminism, this will take some pressure off you.
3. If a man speaks over you consistently, take him to HR. From personal experience, I wouldn't handle it directly with him first. He may retaliate and get to you before you get to him, or worse, make something up about you to get you in trouble first (happened to me!)
4. If you have a terrible male boss, ask your HR department to transfer you to another department, if possible, with a female boss
5. Being yourself is enough, you are being an activist simply by being yourself in "their" space - so TAKE UP SPACE!

 And, don't worry, I made sure to save that email just in case the company decided to take any action against me ;).

 XO, Annabella

My New Activist Tee.

Representation in media.

I must describe the need for representation in media, from the lens of myself - a middle eastern woman with large curly hair ! Growing up (so cliche...but...) I would cut out pictures of models out of magazines and post them on my wall. I have a very vivid image of a dior sunglass ad still embedded in my mind, of a very blonde thin model with glasses on. Aside from the fact that I am creative & I enjoy the beauty & aesthetics of photography, I never realized the affect not finding myself in media had. I am now in my 30's with a bit of low self esteem. I definitely have my lioness days when I feel full of confidence, but for the most part, I have never ever ever ever felt comfortable in groups at school or work, because no one ever looked like me. I have always felt other. When I was younger, kids would make fun of me because of my hair. The blonde girls excluded me and my ethnic friends from parties. When I was younger, I used to think it was because of my hair color. I didn't realize it was because of race & social status. It didn't even occur to me, because my heart is made of gold. Not only am I personally affected in the workplace, but my ethnic peers are also affected. And together, we have low self-esteem and constantly struggling to find our voice and be heard. Why should a caucasian individual care for my self-esteem? Because I can be a stronger partner, ally, and co-worker. My diversity also benefits the bottom line.

Modern Prairie.

My feminist warddrobe.

*I would also like to shout out the bad ass feminist apparel at https://shop.the-wing.com/ And Call Your Girlfriend (especially the Scam Is Structural Hat): https://shopcyg.com/

Stop looking at me.

Men look at me, a lot. Even when I am not looking at them, I can feel it from my side eye, my third eye, and my skin. I turn quickly to catch them and make them feel hella uncomfortable. Men feel entitled to look at women, as if they own them. As if it's their birth right. Don't look at me if your intentions are not to get into my head or my heart. You have no right to peruse my body with your eyes and think lame thoughts such as, "yeah I'd fuck her". Get off my vagina, bro.

1 million dates.

Jesus I've probably been on a million dates and counting. I'm 34 and have been on and off dating tons of men for the past 10 years. I can't even tell you how many. I used to wrestle with the thought of being alone. I used to deliberately not try to go out . I wanted to feel loved but simultaneously loved being alone. I'm so torn, I want myself and I sometimes want others to want me, but not truly, not in my deepest heart. In my deepest heart, I am fine on my own. I used to fuss with my hair so much. And I used to wear the sexiest outfits and put SO much makeup on, because I was trying to impress these men. I wanted them to like me. But now I just throw on my baggiest oversized plaid top and torn jeans, maybe some chunky boots, and bright bold red lipstick but with no other makeup on. Because I don't need them to like me, I need me to decide if they are right for me.

Rise up Goddesses, Rise up.

rise up goddess warrior queens, rise up may the moon guide you may the spirits watch over you may the heavens clear your path you have a mission to complete.

My oversized, "I'm tired of being oversexualized" tee