how to: self care.

If you follow me on insta, @lovecrushbella, you KNOW I love a good self care Sunday. Here is my list of MUSTS for Sunday's, all around the topic of self-care: 1. Start the day with meditation and a downward dog. 2. Take a yoga class, preferably for an hour and a half or two hours (trust me you have the time) 3. Use the steam room for 20 min 4. Enjoy an afternoon treat - avocado toast, anyone? 5. Don't clean your room. 6. Put in a hair mask for at least 3 hours while you lounge/read/etc. 7. Take a bubble bath while putting on a face mask (or two) 8. Prep your meals for the week - meal prepping is self care for the entire week! 9. Meditate for 1 hour before bedtime 10. Listen to ocean sounds while dozing off Yes, I ACTUALLY do all of these things, in this order, on Sundays. I promise it will set you up for the most perfect work week. #selfcarestrong

sweater weather: it's a turtleneck story.

how to start a blog: be pretty.

You know what really bothers me? I have been attempting to be a blogger for about 10 years. Obviously I haven't made it yet.

What is the most difficult in our society is for people to move past the obvious: your face.

Not everyone wants to spend the time to learn more about you or break down your walls and barriers and find out the real you.

You kind of have to scream out who you are, unapologetically, and loud.

I AM:

- KIND, first.
- SOFT, first.
- LOVING, first.
- AMBITIOUS, next.
- DARING, next.
- STYLISH, last.


Be a hybrid.

- Bella.

xo


       

I'm not complaining, it's no one's fault, I'm here to ask nicely.

So I work in corporate america as a ethnic woman. I'm not complaining, because I do love a challenge, and I am a hard worker. But I find my treatment vs. others in the office (others being caucasian / asian - I include asian because they are automatically revered as "highly intelligent" ) - to be less than the way others are treated. In regards to respect, I am not respected for my age - I mean I am 33 years old - is 13 years of suffering in underdeveloped corporate America not enough to garner that respect?

Kavatrash was just elected for Supreme Court Justice.

Kavatrash was just elected for supreme court, the highest honor in the US. 

This is huge and something I am heartbroken over, I could literally fall over and cry.

This is so much more than a man being elected to supreme court. If you don’t know by now, this man is being accused of rape. Regardless of how long ago it happened, he refused to answer questions from the senate under court of law.

So that answers my question. He did it. 

This is much more than a man being appointed to supreme court, and so much more than being about just one rape story.

This is about the treatment and inequality of men and women,  in the US, on a daily basis, and globally - even worse globally at times. Did you know women in Pakistan and Sudan get arrested and even killed if they disrespect their husband - have you heard of “honor killings”. It’s a thing. And #timeisfuckingup.

This is about how often women get overlooked, dismissed, interrupted, sexually assaulted, raped and killed, in the US and definitely abroad.

We cannot take these lesser behaviors (being dismissed, interrupted) to be “minor” and insignificant.  They happen on the streets, in our workplaces, and at home. If we allow for these things, then we allow for acceptance and dismissal of these much graver offenses - rape and murder.

On a “smaller” scale, in the workplace, i am very attuned to when men don’t respect me or believe me simply because “I am a woman”. 

• I am not given a credit card while the men around me are, to make proprietary purchases.
• I am expected to be perfect, even go above & beyond, while the men are expected to do JUST enough
• I am expected to show emotion & applaud those around me. While the men just need to BE there
• I am expected to stay behind in the office while the men go to on site meetings for something i worked on
• Men have the audacity to ask me if I own an iphone, expecting that I wouldn’t have enough money to afford one (LMAO, please don’t insult me)
• Men assume my outfit is representative of either the way I wish to portray myself or a representation of my bank account. Both are usually incorrect. 
• I haven’t had a direct female boss in 10 years. 

I could go on for days.

These are incredibly minor in perspective to murder and rape. But do you understand that if you ACCEPT this treatment you are opening the door to much worse treatment?

The decision to elect Kavatrash is a reflection of what goes on on a daily basis, and it proves how disastrous this inequality can surmount to .

The US government will not have a fighting chance to turn back Roe Vs Wade, and set us back about 50 years. Fuck being female if that ever happens.

On a “smaller” scale, in the workplace, i am very attuned to when men don’t respect me or believe me simply because “I am a woman”. 

That definition to a man, is much much different than that of a woman.

Men have it wired in their subconscious to see women as the inferior breed - I see it even in the men I love. To view them as objects, servants in the home, possessions.

So be awake - both of us, men & women, be wide fucking awake. #timeisfuckingup . I’m so over this. Going to cry now.