Fuck Dating.

Dating.

I can’t talk about dating without talking about SELF LOVE & SELF CARE first. You can drive yourself crazy dating over and over again without finding out the truth of why it isn't working out.

Here are a few rules I recommend BEFORE deciding to date:

1. Self care & self love yourself to the max in all kinds of ways, like: spiritual ritual cleansing baths. Baths can not just help to relax you, but I believe can “protect” you from bad energy by literally cleaning out toxins that are not letting you feel your best. I take baths up to 3 times a week!

2.  Journal nightly - learn more about yourself and becoming familiar with your patterns by writing out things that have happened throughout your day. This way, at the end of the week you can read about small details that happened earlier in the week that you may have repressed and realize that sometimes you repeat patterns. When you realize what these patterns are, you can consciously stop them.

3. Find out what you really want in a man by coming to terms with the TRUTH about what you want and need, what is going to fill your soul, and not by illusions of love and the type of “prince charmings” that fairy tales teach us about, because they aren’t real.

4. Realize that there is another TYPE of life that you can lead, that has nothing to do with a man: like being fully 100% independent and happy without a man - it can be done. Rely on your friends for the “love” that you need. Sometimes your best friends can provide better support than the men in your life.

I personally am now single, by choice, I LOVE IT, and I highly recommend dating ONLY for fun. Ok fine, so now I’ll talk about dating, if I must ;) 

I have personally been on all types of apps - from match, to tinder, to bumble, plenty offish etc…My personal favorite is bumble. And the reason is because what the brand stands for - which is women power. Women make the first move, and it subliminally makes men feel like they no longer have power over us, which in turn makes them feel “powerless” and kind of at our mercy (which I not so secretly LOVE). I truly believe the more women that join it, the better men will behave.

Dating can be hard. Here are some tips that I would like to share from my learnings about the process:

1. Date LOTS OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEN - you will be very surprised by what you end up liking. By different types I mean: different ages, different ethnicities, different work industries etc. If you turn it into a game, you won’t get your feelings hurt as much. 
2. If a guy doesn't return your calls, MOVE ON. I am not here to make you feel better. I am being honest and I will save you lots of unnecessary tears. Men are assholes, and they don’t care for your feelings that much. So if he doesn't return your call, don’t even bother texting goodbye. You don’t need closure. You just need a new guy ;) and fast!
3. Keep lots of men handy at all times, do not do not do not date just 1 guy at a time. I know it’s hard, and I don't mean 5 guys at a time, that is extreme. But maybe 2 , and try for 3. This way if one drops off, your fine.
4. Date your man every week or two. Do not expect to see him every night, that isn’t realistic. Find hobbies and stick to them - and actually BE busy, don’t “pretend”!! I am assuming you are a kick-ass hard working woman that socializes at night and works out - so do just that, don’t make him first.
5. Focus on yourself during the dating process. Remind yourself that you are looking for HIM to impress you (not the other way around). If he isn't 100% a perfect man to you , kick him out. i.e. If he isn’t taking you out as much as you would like, tell him directly, and see how he responds. If he doesn't respond that way you like, say bye.
6. Last but definitely not least, focus on your goals FIRST. Don’t put men or dating as a priority, because guess what, they definitely don’t put women first. Focus on that raise, that promotion, and buying yourself that new bag. You don’t need him. 

xo

Annabella

SIMPLE Vegan & Gluten Free Potato & Leek Soup.

OMG you are going to devour this soup. Very simple to make too!

1. 4 Stalks of LEEK , chopped
2. 1 onion, chopped
3. 1 garlic, minced.
4. 6 potatoes - chopped , I like my soup a bit chunky , so up to you how big or small you want these
5. 1 Bok Choy (optional!, I happened to have some one day and threw it in and it tasted perfect!)
6. 1 teaspoon salt
7. 1 teaspoon thyme
8. 1 tsp rosemary
9. 4 cups vegetable broth (gluten free)
10. 1/2 tsp coriander
11. Black pepper to taste
12. 1 tbsp avocado oil
13. 2 small cans of coconut cream

STEPS:

1. So, first, saute the onions, garlic and leek on medium heat for about 10 minutes . Mix in all the spices after they are fully cooked.
2. Add in the vegetable broth & all potatoes (or until potatoes are fully covered in the broth) and cook on medium for another 10-15 minutes until potatoes are fully cooked
3. Add in the coconut cream
4. BLEND everything in the pot using an immersion blender (I don't fully blend mine because I like it chunky) , or slowly transfer to a blender until the entire soup is blended.

...AND DONE!

2018 Retrospective.

Looking back at 2018, and even further back to the start of my adult life - I have grown SO much. I attribute a lot of my growth to my yoga & meditation practice that I take pretty seriously, if I don’t say it enough. I have always been drawn to spirituality , and have always felt the divine feminine “strong” in me.

This year has been an amazing experience that I will be forever grateful for. To date, it’s been the best year of my life. Which is so exciting, because I know more is on the way.

Last year - in contrast, I had the worst year of my life. And then in October, when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, life gave me a boost. And a big one! I got a new job, a great one, in a new city, with a new apartment (my own studio! after years of living with my parents) - and the potential to grow as a human being. In the beginning of the year I suffered through tremendous anxiety (shakes, panic attacks, feeling out of breath), and it felt so permanent. 

Society really does pull you down, through its rules and it’s stereotypes and its judgement. But in my own space - I have been able to cultivate a sacred space - and GROW. Finally.

I have meditated EVERY night for the past year. And I am developing exponentially than before. I am thankful and grateful for my job - although never wanting to truly settle (but that’s another topic ;) ) - for giving me the opportunity to grow the way I have.

FOREVER GRATEFUL,

Annabella

Let's talk feminism - Aston Martin's new President Laura Schwab

Let’s talk feminism. Again. 

So last week I was chatting with my man of the moment. And he sent me a video of Jay Leno & Aston Martin’s new female president driving & talking about the car. For those of you that don’t know - Aston Martin is a very high end luxury car that is incredibly expensive.

After he sent me the video, he added a comment that said (this is a direct quote from a text), “lol, they hired this women to be the president of aston usa and she knowns nothing about the car and sounds so dumb look at all the comments”.

I immediately went into woman power feminist mode and barked back with “why are you so mysogynistic? if that was a male and sounded like an idiot you would still applaud him. She’s probably more into finance than the car’s engine”. 

His response (a direct quote), was, “No I wouldn’t applaud him she was specifically hired because of the whole feminist movement to try to make the company look good. But she's a joke, doesn’t know anything about her own car Jay Leno basically had to answer the questions”.

My genius reply was, “We (women) haven’t been afforded the same opportunities as long as you (men) have . So of course she may not be as well versed but doesn't mean you shouldn't give her a chance.”

My reply is what the feminist movement is all about - giving women a chance. I am not saying we are “better”. No one is better. We are “EQUAL”. And the only way we can truly be equal is if we are ALSO given OPPORTUNITIES, when men are constantly given jobs, pay raises, insane bonuses, for having a lot less experience than us. 

I could talk about this for days. But in short, MAN UP - we need men on our side this year, we can’t do this alone. Men need to realize that we are here for the opportunities so that WE can feed our families and provide support. We (women) are here for the opportunities so that we don't have to rely on a man and can be free from their power (and let’s be honest - sometimes their wrath). 

What is confidence?

What is confidence?

Confidence is something you have, in your mind, and in your spirit. It allows you to walk through situations without feeling inadequate. It allows you to feel fully and completely in your skin. It IS something you can cultivate and grow into, with practice.

I can't speak to how to fix or gain confidence without first discussion why you lack confidence.

Lack of confidence most likely lives in your subconscious which was placed there through trauma, abuse, tragic experiences, or the like.

To fix this..in short, MEDITATE. A lot!

Meditation actually helps to CLEAR your subconscious. And it takes work and a few years before you see major changes. You will see slight changes in the interim. But I have experienced massive change after 1 year and a half, I can't imagine what my progress will look like in another year!

It sounds so simple, and it is ! :)

Super Simple Cauliflower & Garbanzo Soup, Gluten Free & Vegan

Super Simple Cauliflower Soup , Vegan & Gluten Free

1. A whole cauliflower (or two)
2. Fresh Tomatoes - Qty 3
3. 2 Onions
4. 3 cloves of garlic
5. Tomato Sauce
6. 2 cups precooked garbanzo beans (soaked overnight)

1. Chop up some onions, and cook until golden , add garlic
2. Add spices to onions (1 tbsp coriander, 1 tbsp turmeric, 1 tbsp cumin, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tbsp cayenne pepper)
3. Add tomatoes & tomato sauce to onions
4. Transfer the sauce to a larger cooking bowl
5. Add in the chopped cauliflower
6. Add in the garbanzo beans
7. Simmer on low for 15 minutes or go

**as always, intentionally simple for those on-the-go babes.

Super Simple Vegan Gluten Free Salad

Local Organic Ingredients Only Recommended:

 1. Large Tomatoes, approximately 4
2. Garbanzo Beans, soaked overnight
3. Kidney Beans, soaked overnight
4. Avocado

 For The Dressing: Squeeze some lemon & add salt & pepper / a drizzle of oil, maybe a smash of garlic or two

 **Recipe is intentionally simple, for those in-a-rush mom's or working ladies**

best holiday gifts for men.

Is it just me or are men so hard to shop for? This list will make it easy for you. The thing is men don't show their feelings, or their wants. But trust me on the inside they are squealing, they LOVE this stuff. Show a man a nice pair of cuff links and watch his eyes literally light up. So here is my Christmas/Holiday gift list for men. Enjoy:

best gifts for your sassy mom.

Best Gifts for Her.

What to buy the wonder women in your life:

5 reasons why yoga & meditation are so good for you

5 reasons why yoga & meditation are so good for you

1. Stretch your body - stretch your mind 

 Possibly one of the most prominent reasons for stretching your body is to have the ability to stretch your mind. Notice how there are days when you feel more flexible than others ? This is because flexibility is partly in the mind. The way you feel about yourself, your current daily experiences, and your emotions have a direct effect on your body.

 2. Increase your strength through mindfulness

 Some people think that power comes from muscles. I am living proof this isn't true. I am 5’0 and 97 lbs, however, I have very odd strength. I think part of it is due to my parents never letting me realize how small I was growing up! Funny enough, they would call me “Hercules” , “horse” , and told me I was “SO strong”. And I grew up believing it! I believe it so much, that at times, I can lift things that very large men with strong muscles can lift. Moral of the story - strength is in the mind. Yoga can help with that. Yoga encourages you to use your mind & your breath to be able to achieve complicated poses with minimal effort.

 3. Release bad energy through breath.

 The one thing I love about hitting the mat after work or on the weekends - is that it is an entire hour & a half all to myself, with my thoughts, and no one’s voice, other than the teacher, trying to tell me what to do. I work all week and by Saturday I am exhausted. I feel rejuvenated after yoga and a lot of it has to do with letting bad energy out of your body through your breath. 
Yogi’s believe that you can transfer thoughts from one person to another through breathing and wavelengths. This same belief holds true for stored up, bad energy. Strong breathing for one hour and a half is a lot of bad energy out of your body! When the teacher says “breathe through the pain”, its not just metaphorical - there are very minute molecules that we can’t see that we need to stir up and push out of our bodies.

 4. Elongate your stance through stretching

 One of the main functions of yoga isn't often spoken about - stretching your spine! You can actually look, feel, and BE taller through yoga. All of the forward bends, back bends, down dog, even childs pose - these are all for the purpose of stretching out the spine!

 5. Feeling more present & centered. 

 I personally meditate one hour per night. If you don’t have that kind of time on your hands, even 10 minutes of daily practice will help. Meditation really helps you focus. I am a very natural person - I’ve never taken any of the drugs that my friends have for focus & attention & I don’t need to! It’s definitely a longer & harder road through meditation - but its HEALTHIER! Meditation brings you back into the present more often. If you notice yourself “daydreaming” a lot or thinking about your future or your past - that is the exact opposite of being present. Being present is really hard! It’s about being able to sit still and be COMFORTABLE with nothing. This meditation practice for me is actually comforting. It’s something I do before bed and it makes me feel lighter & happier.