2020: The year of the pant suit.

And song of style has you covered!! xo:

NYE Dress Ideas! xo

Resort: The cutest travel goods!

Shop Women Owned Christmas Presents!

Christmas is for everybody.

Is Christmas even about religion even more? GASP! The thought. Isn’t it just about Mariah Carey? Kidding. I see religion through the lens of spirituality - I see that there is a “source” - whether you want to call that God, Allah, or other, go ahead! To me its all the same, we are all the same. Faith is trusting that there is a system out there that is guiding us, protecting us, and has some other meaningful presence other than our current reality. I have faith that there is something magical & special out there. Because even if this is all hocus pocus, I love it! If religion, especially Catholicism - the definition of Catholic IS UNIVERSAL - is meant to unite, and to be for everyone, why does it separate us? I don’t think there is one right or wrong religion. Heck, I love Jesus! He is a historic legend, and a real being! And a true gangster. Maybe the bible was translated & written by individuals that took his story a little too far - maybe it was true. I refuse to pick a side. I just know that the point is to unite the world and if we aren’t doing that than it's being done wrong. Christmas separates my sisters husband’s family from us in December. We go to them during Thanksgiving, but during Christmas, we simply spend it with our close Catholic family. How wrong is that?! Doesn’t anyone see anything wrong with this?? Am I the only one that cares? Probably. I hope that when celebrating Christmas this year, you are not celebrating a religion or ONE person - but rather, love, world peace (for ALL), health, prosperity, grace, humanity and oneness. Namaste, lovers!!

Cool gifts & things that you don't need....but are SO cute!

Cool gifts & things that you don't need, but are SO cute:

New beauty cream ensures glow from the inside.

New beauty cream ensures glow from the inside out. This new amazing happening cream has a custom formulated ingredient list from the heavens. It has been blessed by the goddesses and sprinkled with star dust and moon dust. It even has dust from Mars! We purchased some from Elon.

It ensures that you wake up with a glow, as if you are happy from the inside, as if you are thriving, even though the world is treating you terribly. It makes you say nice things, out of the blue, even to people you can't stand.

You flow effortlessly through the streets to work, there is never traffic, the streets are lined with pink blossoms all the way to your work. Your boss loves you.

That's how powerful this stuff is.

***You know those articles you get from Poosh, Goop, TheCut, and IntoTheGloss about " the best eye cream" or "the best new face cream" - This is a parody on those if it's not obvious (insert eyeroll). I'm so sick of the things that we try to sell women as if it's going to make our lives suddenly, magically better.

xo

A

Elon Musk & Mark Zuckerberg announce that they too, are feminists.

Elon Musk & Mark Zuckerberg announced on Saturday morning that they are feminists, too. They both fell asleep at their desks at the same time, hit their heads on their keyboards and had an epiphany. They woke up and realized, "I too, am a feminist". They suddenly realized that their macho toxic behavior, hunger for more success, capitalist greed, and harm to the enviornment were not only hurting the women around them, but themselves as well. They realized they needed to join the feminist movement and take on the male toxicity themselves.

Musk has already started a new organization called "The Bush" where he is accepting donations to hand out to all women for no reason other than paying them back for the bullshit they have all endured. Zuckerberg has joined the movement as board of directors where he is actively campaigning in congress for equal pay, paid maternity leave, and more equity FOR ALL, not just for Facebook. He has also promised to hire 50% more women in 2020.

The definition of feminist.

The definition of feminist in 2019 is not something you can look up in a dictionary. It stands for the equality of all genders in all situations: workplace, society, well being, health etc.

The definition of feminism can also mean a bad fearless unapologetic bitch with an unwavering opinion & attitude.

Men: They dont have what we know, they dont know what we want.

I was at yoga this morning, and this large sweaty breathy man plopped himself next to me. I could hear his loud and quick breaths as I lay in shavasana. He irritated me immediately. His mere presence invaded my quiet, small but strong space. When we were asked by the teacher to spread out our hands his hands overlapped mine due to their size. I was required to drop mine down first in order to avoid his. I needed to move out of his way. I needed to make my already small self even smaller to make room for him. I needed to retain my controlled breath and composure in his aggressive space. When he kicked up to do a handstand I could hear everything, even the thump of his feet back on the ground. When I kicked up to do a handstand, you could barely hear me move, yet I was THERE, in full knowledge with 10 years of yoga & 20 years of dance behind my belt, yet his confidence exceeded mine.

Rewind to yesterday, at work during "happy hour" with coworkers where one woman was asked to identify who was our demographic for our product. She answered so perfectly and articulately, with such grace, calm and composure, while the men hurled questions that made them "stand out". They asked questions that they didn't have the answers to, but SHE did. They continued to ravage and hurl their predatory selves and questions at her while she continued to smile and answer in grace. They were feeding off her, she filled a gap in themselves, she filled their nasty hunger for information that SHE innately had. She didn't need the data, she knew the answers because simply, SHE IS. The men breathed hard, lunged forward, hungry for answers. Taking from her. Violating her knowledge & SHE self. As I sat back and watched the predators attack their prey, I realized she was being taken for her knowledge but not GIVEN anything in return. Why are men allowed to walk this earth so furiously and with utter and complete confidence, savage, taking everything in their path. And giving nothing back in return? Why am I consistently being violated in every arena of my life, while they, not so smoothly, do yoga next to me, in complete and utter confidence?

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Lingua Franca: Activist Apparel.

Oversized & Undersized.

Best Skincare Under $10 , from Pacifica Face Wash to Indie Lee

Feminist Apparel: Stop Over-sexualizing Me Apparel.

Feminism in the workplace.

Is it safe in 2019 to expose yourself as a feminist in a corporate environment?

For some maybe not, and not everyone needs to be a martyr. So if you don't have the privilege, you are welcome in my book to stay hush!

However, for those of us, like myself, that are privileged enough to have a support system to catch us, including our own personal savings, in the event the company takes action against you - run wild, sister.

 I was recently invited to a company wide trip to a male baseball game, and I declined. I even went as far as to email my HR department stating, "I boycott male sports". I am only a little nervous that they will take action, as it is a start-up. However, going would make my blood boil and possibly make me vomit, so no thanks.

 I make it a point to be an activist in my daily life, as I am absolutely OVER being surrounded by men who speak over me, speak more than me on topics they aren't as well versed on, and being HEARD and agreed with more than me. I also would argue that it will only make you feel stronger, the next time.

 Here are some ways you can be an activist in your male dominated work-space:

1. Ask HR to start a Women's Empowerment Group (and invite the men!), you need men on your side, be open to bi-partisanship
2. Start a diversity & inclusion committee and prioritize black women. Don't make it all about feminism, this will take some pressure off you.
3. If a man speaks over you consistently, take him to HR. From personal experience, I wouldn't handle it directly with him first. He may retaliate and get to you before you get to him, or worse, make something up about you to get you in trouble first (happened to me!)
4. If you have a terrible male boss, ask your HR department to transfer you to another department, if possible, with a female boss
5. Being yourself is enough, you are being an activist simply by being yourself in "their" space - so TAKE UP SPACE!

 And, don't worry, I made sure to save that email just in case the company decided to take any action against me ;).

 XO, Annabella

My New Activist Tee.

Representation in media.

I must describe the need for representation in media, from the lens of myself - a middle eastern woman with large curly hair ! Growing up (so cliche...but...) I would cut out pictures of models out of magazines and post them on my wall. I have a very vivid image of a dior sunglass ad still embedded in my mind, of a very blonde thin model with glasses on. Aside from the fact that I am creative & I enjoy the beauty & aesthetics of photography, I never realized the affect not finding myself in media had. I am now in my 30's with a bit of low self esteem. I definitely have my lioness days when I feel full of confidence, but for the most part, I have never ever ever ever felt comfortable in groups at school or work, because no one ever looked like me. I have always felt other. When I was younger, kids would make fun of me because of my hair. The blonde girls excluded me and my ethnic friends from parties. When I was younger, I used to think it was because of my hair color. I didn't realize it was because of race & social status. It didn't even occur to me, because my heart is made of gold. Not only am I personally affected in the workplace, but my ethnic peers are also affected. And together, we have low self-esteem and constantly struggling to find our voice and be heard. Why should a caucasian individual care for my self-esteem? Because I can be a stronger partner, ally, and co-worker. My diversity also benefits the bottom line.

Modern Prairie.

My feminist warddrobe.

*I would also like to shout out the bad ass feminist apparel at https://shop.the-wing.com/ And Call Your Girlfriend (especially the Scam Is Structural Hat): https://shopcyg.com/

Stop looking at me.

Men look at me, a lot. Even when I am not looking at them, I can feel it from my side eye, my third eye, and my skin. I turn quickly to catch them and make them feel hella uncomfortable. Men feel entitled to look at women, as if they own them. As if it's their birth right. Don't look at me if your intentions are not to get into my head or my heart. You have no right to peruse my body with your eyes and think lame thoughts such as, "yeah I'd fuck her". Get off my vagina, bro.

1 million dates.

Jesus I've probably been on a million dates and counting. I'm 34 and have been on and off dating tons of men for the past 10 years. I can't even tell you how many. I used to wrestle with the thought of being alone. I used to deliberately not try to go out . I wanted to feel loved but simultaneously loved being alone. I'm so torn, I want myself and I sometimes want others to want me, but not truly, not in my deepest heart. In my deepest heart, I am fine on my own. I used to fuss with my hair so much. And I used to wear the sexiest outfits and put SO much makeup on, because I was trying to impress these men. I wanted them to like me. But now I just throw on my baggiest oversized plaid top and torn jeans, maybe some chunky boots, and bright bold red lipstick but with no other makeup on. Because I don't need them to like me, I need me to decide if they are right for me.

Rise up Goddesses, Rise up.

rise up goddess warrior queens, rise up may the moon guide you may the spirits watch over you may the heavens clear your path you have a mission to complete.

My oversized, "I'm tired of being oversexualized" tee

Hair Care Baby

the JLO method.

I was watching a trailer for a new movie w/ JLO & Cardi B. It occured to me, that although this younger newer babe on the block, Cardi B, maybe not as equally talented, was taken under the wings of J.Lo and risen along with her. It didn't diminish J.LO's light in any way, actually it brightened it.

In stark contrast, Niki Minaj, who was the big bad female rapper on the block, was threatened by Cardi. Instead of welcoming Cardi to the scene, she hated on her and they had a lash out in the public eye. Niki Minaj is suddenly synonymous with the terms mean girl, rude, and uninviting. My feminist mind wants to embrace these "bad" qualities, she can do whatever she wishes.

Maybe the embracing JLO method isn't for everyone, as JLO is also sitting on clouds of money that make her feel invincible. Maybe we need to all manifest our invincible-ness (is that a word?) so we can act in the same manner as JLO when a Cardi B comes on the scene threatening to steal our spotlight.

How to maintain happiness in an awful work environment.

This topic is important to me because this has been a challenge for me my entire life, Working as an ethnic minority in corporate america with stereotypes written in my hair & stature. I have felt the weight of the world while at work. Needing to be consistently on my A game due to expectations as a woman to be perfect, and not being "allowed" to make mistakes as a minority, it is physically and mentally exhausting.

A lot of self talk goes into pumping yourself up. Because no one else will.

Tactics:

1. Literally repeat "I am happy" over and over, even while crying in the woman's bathroom until you feel a little better
2. Throughout the day, hide in corners if you have to, move away from the bad energy, and remind yourself you are amazing using the following mantras "This is not permanent" , "Goddess Help Me, Like you always do" , "I will get through this"
3. Apply for jobs, while at work. Yup, I said it. I say this with complete unbounded authority - if your company is not supporting you 100%, why should you support them? They are wasting your time by not supporting your growth, so feel free to waste their time.
4. Book a conference room and call a gal friend for support. They don't need to know who you are on the phone with. Say it is a vendor/client.
5. Call out sick & go to The Wing. Work on your blog instead, and post it to girlboss community. ;)

Miraculously, through your own efforts alone, by the end of the day , if you have pushed out the negative thoughts, you will feel like you have more energy and will have made yourself happier.

I will even go as far as DELETING a message from a coworker that irks me LOL This energy stuff is real!!

Other fun woo-woo tactics:

1. Bring plants to the office - buy tall ones if you need to cover the face of a coworker you cant stand that is in your eyesight & line of energy
2. Bring a LARGE mirror
3. Bring a black tourmaline - medium size, make it obvious !! - and place at your desk at all times. If someone tries to touch it, tell them " don't touch"

Beauty things.

Best summer lovin outfits

The power of a Gucci Bag.

I'm petite. With big curly hair. And, a minority. All odds against me in Corporate White Boy America.

I have heard the harsh criticisms muffled under someones breath & from 2 desk rows away when they thought I wasn't around. I have heard it all about my stature, hair, and looks. To bash someone based on their looks is infuriating, disgusting, and small minded. It's also incredibly gender conforming, above all else. Why should I have to carry around huge bags/huge heels just to get attention and to get respect?

As a personal revolt against stereotypes against me, and in an act of rebellion, for more than 3 years I have simplified my style down to an art form. I wear the same 2 pairs of jeans over and over and only purchase a new pair when I absolutely must. I recently just got a tear in one of my jeans. Instead of buying a new one, I patched it up from the inside. I wear the same 5 black tops over and over (wash them 1x per week). I have reduced my beauty routine all the way down to not adding any product in my hair (because it's incredibly expensive & time consuming). I never wear polish, again too time consuming & expensive. And I never wear makeup unless its for an extra special meeting at work or an event.

All of these gender conforming "add on's" set out by the patriarchy to get us even more sucked into this system for . fkng. ever.

But now, that I arrive to work in my most purest form, I have all the energy in the world to focus on the way I present myself and speak, regardless of all these distractions. Trying to show off who you are on the inside and have it emanate into the world regardless of all the sparkle, is challenging.

I still have a challenging time gaining respect from people. I used to blame it on myself: maybe I'm not loud enough, maybe my hair isn't as nice enough, maybe I'm not pretty enough, maybe I'm not social enough.

And the truth is: everyone else, who can't respect you for no other reason than you are a human being, is the problem, they are the problem.

Unfortunately we cannot warp into the future, in another 25million years away when humanity will hopefully be much better and respect you for just being you. A human.

So, sadly my new tactic hasn't worked. and 13 years into my career, I am officially exhausted from trying to prove myself and earn respect with my voice, and my work alone. So what is the solution to gaining respect in this f*ed up world? Buying a power bag.

I am now going to buy a HUGE GUCCI tote. Not a Louis Vuitton tote that isn't actually that expensive, that all the directors wear. The Gucci one, with the roaring lion embroidered on. Approximately $800 more than the Louis everyone carries around.

This is my last resort. So if you are feeling ultra exhausted from trying to gain friends that you don't actually want or need, respect for no reason, all in the name of corporate america, buy that bag. Buy that f*ing power bag. Leave it on top of your desk for all to see. And sadly, watch how people begin responding and paying attention to you.

How to negotiate a raise.

ASK for it!

 It's rare that women, in particular, ask for a raise the second they feel like they are entitled to it. They tend to wait for "the right moment". But really, there is never a right moment. Which is why you just need to do it. Unfortunately, as most of you already know, the system will take advantage of you if you let it. Especially you hard working minorities that don't feel entitled. I am you. So I understand.

I work in the beauty industry, on the corporate side, and have been handed over managerial duties without the title or promotion twice in my career. My Caucasian manager went on maternity leave, never came back, and yet I assumed the roles & responsibilities without a raise or title change. Occurrences such as this has delayed my advancement year after year. It aggregately consumes my lack of wealth.

So my advice is, from direct experience:

1. Ask for that raise and title IMMEDIATELY after your manager is gone
2. SERVE them a list, in email form, of your latest achievements and your "BROADER SCOPE OF WORK" - key words
3. Ask for approximately 10k-25k more than what you are making (this is considered a promotional raise). A 5k raise is simply a performance raise that most people are given. So ask for more!
4. If they say no, ask that they reconsider in one to two months.
5. If the company says no to a review in a few months, immediately start looking elsewhere. If you find something, you can use that offer as a negotiation tool to get the salary you want. Make sure you only present it if you are 100% comfortable with a rejection, which would mean you leave to your new company
6. If you leave to another company, change is good and BRAVE. So bravo, boss.

OTHER side tactics include:

1. Attempting to get as much face time w/ higher-ups that can advocate for you for a new position or salary increase
2. Chat with the CEO from time to time, even if it is just about the weather, SHE gets the final say eventually

If you are wondering how I faire with these tactics, on average I have received 10k salary increases at most. But I am certain you can do better than me! I also tend to job-bounce frequently to make up for the low salary I made as a younger impressionable babe that would do anything for less money. Each time I change companies, I increase my salary another 5-10k.

xo Annabella

Stylish Summer Work Out Gear:

FAIRNESS, and I dont mean your skintone, but maybe I do?

There are some people in this world that can move through the world more "freely", and then, there are "other's". There are some people that move on without consequences. And then, there are "other's". There are some people that are "allowed" to behave a certain way, and then, there are "other's". I am other.

FAIRNESS truly is only for the fair.

In a recent experience (I won't say real names) - Christina & Jessica moonlighted while at work and was caught. Jessica, a fair-skinned affluent woman under 30 years old and Christina a dark-skinned, and Asian women were caught. Their case was considered for 24 hours before making any decisions, and then it was decided that they would be kept at the company. Even though they clearly defied the contract that you sign upon hire. This notch on their chart was a second notch to their already "bad" behavior at work (missing deadlines, leaving to lunch for two hours, rolling in to the office at 1030AM leaving at 5PM etc..)

If I, a Middle Eastern, Petite woman, with big ass frizzy curly hair was EVER in this position, I would be CANNED. The rules are different for me, they always have been. As a marginalized being, I am forced to be "perfect". I move, act, & react in this world according to "perfection". I have to, and from personal, direct experience, I know I have to because I have been fired for "bad" behavior. Have you?

 I know, that the second I am "imperfect". If I break any of these "rules", I am the one to get fired, laid-off, demoted, because that is just another notch on my resume, on top of being female, petite, curly hair, hairy-ish arms, less "like-able" qualities, everything that is the opposite of Caucasian. If I miss a comma in an email, I receive an eye-roll from my superiors. If I miss ONE email, because I receive hundreds of emails throughout the day, I am considered not diligent. While others around me can completely work on side projects on work hours and still receive praise from the CEO. 

Fucking incredible.

The added consequence of this duo being kept at this company - as my inferiors (I am technically above them in title) - have now gained momentum & empowerment to be even more disrespectful and intolerant of me. They were already this way in the past, but they double downed their attitude towards me when they returned, not in an act of defiance but in an act of ultra-superiority. I officially have no say in any move they make from now on.

An additional consequence of this from my end, is that I am even more quiet than I was before. And alienated by the team. If I my vocal intolerance of their "misbehavior" was not appreciated before, it definitely wasn't appreciated now. Not long after these events, I was not invited to a going away party of 2 other women in our group. While I don't have personal emotions towards it, because my real life is way more incredible than my work life, it's interesting to watch it play out as the only Middle Eastern woman on the team.

 So now, if I need to peg a metaphor to it, it feel like I am in jail. And the bad guys rule. I need to be able to see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil in order to survive. Can't wait to see how the rest of the year plays out (insert eye-roll).

 Someone, please call me out if I am being unfair.

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She's Just Not that Into You.

1. You "rich boys" are a dime a dozen. That's because the entire world props you up and throws money at you so you can "control" the rest of us. So, she's just not that inspired by your story or your grotesque line up of fancy cars that cost more than her school loans, she has seen it all and her last boy toy made 14 mill a year, move on please. She's more inspired by the marginalized overlooked bartender trying to get his loans paid off in white-boy America.

2. She's heard, "hey girl, where you from?", at least a million times. Try to spark an intelligent conversation or move the fuck on.

3. Don't think you're the first guy that has sent her a dick pic. She has about 100 of them in her arsenal and she's kind enough to not make fun of your crooked dick. Try sending a photo of your dog?

4. She's judging you. She's judging every word that comes out of your mouth. So stop talking.

5. She can see your 6' ass trying to scan the room for hotter chicks while you speak to her. She's not blind.

6. She's smarter than you for sure. She's just trying to make you feel better about yourself.

7. She's fully aware that you wanting to get married is a ploy to save money on taxes and keep her locked up in the kitchen asking her to ew, budget, on groceries. Move on.

8. She probably doesn't like your mom as much as she says she does. She knows you're a mammas boy and she secretly thinks its pathetic because she knows you will never respect her the way you respect your mom, and she's tired of being disrespected by society in general.

9. She secretly loves being single but plays the "oh I wish I had a husband" card around her married friends to make them feel better about their lives.

10. She knows men are a waste of valuable time, literally, and she would rather hit the gym and self-care.

How to make her fall in love.

1. Don't be an asshole 2. Don't be rude and insensitive. 3. Try to channel your inner goddess. 4. Try to remember her birthday. 5. Try to get a job, doesn't have to be an amazing one, but at least a job. 6. Try to eat healthy so you don't fart everywhere, all the time. 7. Try to use your male superiority & privilege to HER benefit, in other words, support her. 8. Don't invite your friends everywhere you both go. 9. Shower often. 10. Try to be spontaneous.

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10 Women Owned Fashion Brands:

Do you not know you are oppressed?

I recently commented on a sponsored ad campaign from Chanel Beauty promoting their newest blushes & lip glosses for the season using a Caucasian model with fair skin and green eyes, dirty blonde hair, beautiful by industry standards, and an air of entitlement. 

The model was sitting in a car, dabbed on a puff of blush and barely any lipgloss and tossed the products in the back of the car as if she didn't even need them. Because she doesn't :)

White supremacy at its finest, in my very third-eye-wide open eyes.

My comment was mild, in my opinion. I was simply describing my perspective of what I just watched through my words:

"A simple Caucasian woman with no stress or cares in the world. Simply needs to apply a dab of blush and lipgloss on because the world accepts her just as she is and she doesn't have to worry about acceptable or fitting in or stereotypes or racial discrimination (emoji eyeroll, emoji eyeroll, emoji eyeroll)."

I received quite a few comments - even from ethnic, multi-racial women - and (not shocked - eye roll please) to see they didn't like my statement.

Wanna-be clap backs include:

"I'm Latina, I have never been mistreated. I've never faced discrimination either...I blend it with society and don't wake up every thinking that I'm a Latina woman...I am just a human, that's all"

"It's literally a makeup ad..." (from a Vietnamese woman)

"Ohh you don't know me..I have been discriminated against for being white and slim. I just choose to live life in a positive light"

So this raises a lot of questions for me!!

Do these young women not realize their oppression and that the system is not built for them ? 

Are these women not in America? If not, maybe I need to move.

How can we change our language to make the "younger" generation care about these topics so they know how to protect themselves?

White women...how the fuck can you be discriminated against if you ARE the superior race? Please read everything by Rachel Cargle. 

I also highly reccomend Dear White People on Netflix.

Call your Girlfriend Podcast Episode White Fragility: https://www.callyourgirlfriend.com/transcript-episode-160-white-fragility

O Being Episode: Let's Talk About Whiteness: https://onbeing.org/programs/eula-biss-lets-talk-about-whiteness-sep2018/

Obviously I don't have the answers, but I am hoping these questions trigger thoughts and conversations. So enjoy. 

xoxo

LoveCrushBella

Annabella Z.

SF

Short Story: Heartless in the city.

Gosh this dating life is getting old. Christoff just won't leave me alone. He needs so much attention and I'm just not sure what I want. I need my space. I need my independence and I need to focus on my work and he just doesn't get it. I have big dreams, that don't involve him. They don't involve anyone really. I am so selfish with my time, I know, but I love it, and I need to focus on my work to get ahead in this life. It is the only way. I want to run my own company one day. I don't live off this idea of family, babies, and a husband. It just doesn't seem to call me. Maybe it's just not for me and that's ok. I grabbed some drinks with a female friend of mine at the Palace hotel late at night. I love being able to catch up and talk to my friends whenever I want.

WOMEN OWNED SKINCARE!!!

Vanity and greed

Release release release. Peace peace peace. Love love love.

I work in the creative industry, in cosmetics and skincare in particular, and I question our choices daily. It's not that I think we need to completely eradicate cosmetics, but the message that we are sending to our younger dear dear babes is SO misleading. Even the photography is misleading - retouching is a heavily HEAVILY editing process and it creates a very misleading standard of beauty, globally. Do you know the amount of comments that creative directors label on photos to achieve a "perfect" look? Even the "fat" on someones hand can be edited off. Hair can be made to look much fuller than it actually is, keeping customers questioning how they can achieve the same look even though they never actually can, because it isn't real. 

It also asks a lot of our younger babes, in terms of TIME. Do you know it can take 4 hours to "beat your face" - that is a term that makeup artists use when contouring & baking over a long period of time to be able to achieve the most cut look. Society also tends to reward those that buy into these ideals and they become the elite. The elite then continually forces this message on the younger and more impressionable. It's a terrifying circle.

So what are we selling here? Vanity & greed.

So what should we do?

My aspirations are major: CHANGE THE FUCKING WORLD.

Consumers buy what we tell them - they don't even know whats good for them. So TELL them what is good for them, and they will still continue to buy. Corporations are so paranoid that consumers will stop purchasing if you educate them or sell them something GOOD-ish. Ish, because truly no product these days can be 100% organic unless you're growing it in your backyard.

CHANGE your ad campaigns - don't over retouch!! You can still make it pretty & creative, but fuck the retouching. 

Include positivity in your brand messaging. Think NIKE: "Just Do It"...DON'T think like Morphe: "BAKED & READY TO SERVE" - oh lord, SO typical. I don't BAKE ..... I RISE & EMPOWER.

LOVE of girlfriends.

I was just writing an article about hate, but decided I needed to stop and write about love.

SHIFT.

I LOVE my girlfriends and my sister - I literally tell them I love them, shove my face in their cheeks, cuddle with them during movies, uplift them, play with their hair, tell them they have something in their teeth. You know, love.

And no, that doesn't make me a lesbian. If anything, who cares if that's what it makes me seem. Lesbians are beautiful beautiful beautiful beings.

If everyone loved one another much much more than we normally do, our world would be a happier place. The younger babes of the world wouldn't fall to the feet of men that treat them poorly and with disrespect, and SO MUCH MORE!

Spread some love today.

xo

Racial Inequality at Work.

How do you spot racial inequality at work? Especially when it is so subtle these days. It's not like anyone is turning to me and directly saying, "I don't like you because you are not Caucasian".

 Racial Inequality at work looks like:

 1. Not being HEARD or listened to in conference meetings
2. Being "HUSHED" - by a gesture of the hand or requested to "never say that again" (oppression.com)
3. NOT being promoted when there is a qualification to do so

 I recently left my job at a cosmetics company in San Francisco, which, on the outside seems SO incredibly diverse. And it's founders, of Lebanese descent, how could anyone say they were racist?

I can. Because I experienced it. The founders aren't in the office every day, and the CEO is too busy dealing with the big picture. Lots of things go unnoticed. It's not like the caucasians would give the CEO their "ugly" face in person.

It happens in private - ALL THE TIME.

 How to fix this IMMEDIATELY:

1. Ask, demand, a Diversity & Inclusion program, so matter HOW SMALL! It can even be 2 people LARGE
2. Send articles to your HR department and demand that they train their caucasian leaders on how to be more CONSCIOUS of their everyday, SMALL actions. Small actions are huge here.
3. Ask yourself, is this an environment I am in worth it?

Women Owned Cosmetics:

What would the world look like if it was ruled by women and women only?

I imagine all streets would be lined with flowers and trees, everywhere. Lakes would be abundant because of the care and consideration put into everything.

Humans would be happy. Butterflies would be everywhere. Babies would be running freely in office environments and streets. Housing would be affordable. Homeless would be cared for.

The economy would be booming, don't get me wrong, but the buckets of money would be going to different areas:

A hypothetical woman's budget:

1. 30% Environment - plant plant plant!! Healthy healthy healthy!
2. 30% Healthcare - free healthcare for all
3. 40% Education

A hypothetical man's budget:

1. 90% infrastructure - build build build, compete compete compete
2. 5% Healthcare - kill kill kill
3. 5% who knows what, who cares

I'm exaggerating to make a point ;)

So let's take the San Francisco skyline for example, because I currently live out here.

Do we really need the salesforce tower? How much of the city's taxes went into building that massive phallic building?

So in summary. A woman led world would be ABUNDANT, FLOURISHING, HAPPY, ENERGETIC

The Matriarch.

Our country needs a matriarch. NEEDS.

Nancy Pelosi was at The Wing SF today and my spirit awakened. She is a representation of what the world should look like. The vibe in the room was all love, peace, emotion, and hope. A room full of mothers, children, incredibly smart hardworking women of all ethnicities - shout out to the lovely woman that sat next to me - such a great conversation.

Nancy spoke of Power. Influence. Organization. and Getting things done! She refrained from answering specific political questions and was so classy, well spoken, calm, and omg GLOWING.

I'm not going to pretend I know all things about Queen Pelosi, but I do know that for me she represents exactly what America has been for me personally - security & protection.

I am an immigrant.  Born in Lebanon. I became a citizen in my 20's. And for me, this country has protected me from the war in the Middle East - the misogyny, the lack of government, and the chaos. Of course there's always room for improvement, ;) , but from my point of view we have it pretty damn good. At least our women aren't getting murdered for running for congress. We are progressing, I can feel it.

Spending the rest of my day in a happy, positive, meditative state.


Peace & Love.

Annabella

White people in Corporate America.

First of all, I must say: I am an immigrant, and SO thankful for the protection this country brings. I am also thankful for the diversity that this country allows for us to have. Please do not confuse my words for ungratefulness.

But, there is always room for improvement.

The issue with Caucasians in the work force is that they are so incredibly ignorant to so many daily injustices and micro aggressions that us colored women face. And I'm not even the most marginalized! I am Middle Eastern, so I can't imagine how terrible Black women get treated! However, my daily workplace is still my jail cell and I will fight for change, however little is possible.

In office environments where I am surrounded by Caucasians, I am the last to be heard and recognized - and not because I don't speak up, I speak up constantly, but because most Caucasians are biased and wired to only hear and agree with other Caucasians. I have been literally hushed - silenced - on multiple occasions by my bosses, I mean oppressors, oh I mean bosses ;)~. I am even silenced by the Caucasian WOMEN in my office - it blows my mind. I could literally say "the sky is blue" and everyone would disagree with me, but the caucasian woman next to me could say "the sky is pink" - and everyone would agree, regardless of her being incorrect.  On so many occasions a white woman, who was not as qualified or good at her job has risen above me. My younger naive self would say, my time will come. But will it?

Will it come if I don't shout & yell? I don't think so. So this is me shouting and yelling.

There are times when I do speak up, loudly, and I am considered aggressive, or not nice. So I can never win. My options are to sit quietly and accept my fate, or stand up and fight to trail blaze for the women that will come after me. So I speak up, regardless of the shushing, and the ignoring, and the not being promoted. And I urge you to do the same.

Single is the new superhero

Do you pity singles?

Please don't.

I definitely do not pity myself. 

I think it is historically common to see singles and think that they are "lonely". Honey please, I am single, but rarely alone, don't insult me.

Not only are my parents, my niece, my sister, and my best girlfriends the LOVES of my life, they fulfill me in a way that a man never has and potentially never will.

I think that whether you are in a relationship or not you possibly receive all the love you need. And I am SO fulfilled.

Technically speaking, if you want to list out pros and cons, it is more easier financially and potentially emotionally. Your partner can help you carry your burdens or eradicate them. But a solo being needs to carry them all on their own - or with their loved ones.

Anyway, next time you are speaking to someone who is single get your head out of a cage and NEVER assume they are sad or lonely. Ask them about their vivacious love life, about that one time they shouted out to a cute guy on the street, Carrie Bradshaw style, or that one time they randomly decided to be a lesbian for a month .

Trust me , its healthy & exciting to be single, you should try it ;)~

Is Magic Real?

Yes. Especially if you believe in it.

I know it sounds woo woo and hokus pokus but don't you think it's crazy that you could simply repeat the mantra's :

I am confident.
I am bold.
I am beautiful.

And two years later you suddenly feel it, and ARE it?

I believe. And it came true.

5 steps to the perfect Sunday Routine.

5 steps to a perfect Sunday Routine are:

1. Wake up & visualize your day. Imagine yourself having a great day. Imagine where you want to go and imagine yourself being happy. Then when your feet hit the ground, say thank you. Having gratitude & forgiveness brings you more happiness.

2. Eat your breakfast! I always have a strawberry, banana smoothie w/ protein powder mixed in. And while I am drinking it, instead of playing with my phone, I either begin playing a girl power podcast or I rub a jade roller all over my face.

3. Then off to yoga! I usually take 1 hour and a half classes on the weekends to help me get deeper and better into my practice. Yoga has wild mind benefits, much more than the body. It has helped me refocus my mind much faster and stronger (and natural!) than other methods.

4. After yoga, I use the steam room - for a solid 15 minutes to help detox.

5. I grab a coffee & an avocado toast and then "BEGIN" my day.

These 5 steps are crucial for me to feel accomplished. It sounds like a lot of steps, but it's important to making me feel like I am "ready".

I also consider these steps major "me" time, which a lot of people ignore, especially moms out there!! It's so important to focus on yourself and your wellness so you can be the best for those around you.

Now, next weekend, attempt these 5 steps, and tell me how you feel after!!

xoxo,

Annabella Z.

How to Detox + Skincare After the Holidays.

I have had a few requests to write about skincare so here it goes. About four times a year I go to the spa with my sister and I get a facial. I love going to a spa with amenities because then I can spend literally the entire day there and relax - I can use the jacuzzi, the steam room, sauna, showers and iced towels - yum!

So when we first arrived they walked us over to the locker rooms and provide us with a robe and slippers, the mood is so nice I immediately relax. You have the option of going as early as you would like and “checking in”. I prefer to use the amenities after the facial. Then they walk you over to the rooms once you are changed and your therapist comes to get you.

When I get a facial, I make sure to always get one that has a glycolic exfoliator of some sort (not necessarily a glycol peel because that’s a little too intense I think) - I got the “Urban Radiance” facial at the St. Regis in San Francisco. It’s expensive but so worth it!

Product my esthetician always recommends: Vitamin C serum, hyaluronic acid, glycolic. For some reason they don't recommend retinol for me, maybe because I don’t have many brown spots? They recommended retinol to my sister. In the past, I have received a “Fraxel” laser for my face at a plastic surgeon’s skincare office, which basically took off multiple layers of my skin, my skin was peeling for almost two weeks! I believe this is why I have less brown spots & acne scars. So after the facial they give you some water and usually have a snack room. I usually grab fruit and chocolate and some champagne of course!

Then we return back upstairs to the women’s lounge which has the jacuzzi, steam room & sauna. I usually spend a lot of time in the jacuzzi but without wiping my face to save the serums they just added. Then I go to the steam room after and then lounge at the amazing pool they have.

This experience for me is a blend of skincare & SELFCARE which is so important! I love letting go of everything and existing in a space that makes you feel so far away from the rest of the world. I am big on yoga & meditation and this is definitely an addition to my practice that further supports my care.

Sweater Weather SALE! All under $100!

So what I love to do after the Holidays, is finally shop for myself. And the best trick to saving money for the next year, is to purchase all of your winter gear AFTER Christmas - because it all goes on sale. So I have SCOURED the internet for hours to find you the list below...LACOSTE is killing it. ALL UNDER $100

Recipe: Simple Vegan Mushroom Coconut Soup , Gluten Free

I like to keep my recipes very simple, for those of us that don't have much time. So this is intentionally simple.

Yield: 4 servings

1. 1 Large Onion, chopped into small cubes
2. 1 box of mushrooms (which ever you prefer!)
3.  Ginger
4. 2 Limes / Lemons
5. 1 Can of Coconut Milk 16 OZ
6. 1/2 Box of Vegetable Broth
7. 1 bunch of spinach
8. 4 Pinches of pepper flakes

STEPS:

1. Simmer vegetable stock for about 10 minutes.
2. Chop up the onions & mushrooms
3. Add the onions & mushrooms to the stock
4. Simmer for another 10 minutes or until the onions are soft
5. Add in the coconut milk only after the onions are soft
6. Squeeze in 2 limes / lemon
7. Add salt/pepper/ginger/crushed pepper flakes to taste
8. Add the bunch of spinach very last, and cook for 2 more minutes or until very green (they cook fast!)

#TRUTH

So I decided to dedicate my year to #TRUTH, which is essentially your throat chakra - the chakra that allows you to SPEAK with clarity.

There are so many times when I HOLD my tongue and allow for others to judge me, stereotype me, or assume things about me based off an expression I have made. Miscommunication is SO common! I also HOLD my tongue when I experience micro-aggressions & daily injustices, and it's not doing my body any good, and it's not doing anyone else any good either!

So therefore, this entire year, the MOMENT I feel the need to SPEAK - I WILL.

And I hope you do too!