Dear men.

Dear Men, I can't get through to you. Not through my nude pics and not through my rants on instagram. It's impossible and I know, I understand, why you don't understand why I am so angry.

So I'll do it this way.

 Imagine you are 5'0" tall. You are skinny. You have big curly hair. And, you are female.

I'm walking through downtown San Francisco on a busy day. I can feel a few mens' gazes but I look straight ahead with a strong fixed poker face like I always do and pretend not to see them through the sides of my eyes. I hear a tall man behind me, I can tell he is tall by where his voice is coming from, and I clutch my bag a little harder. My man radar is permanently on high considering past experiences - butt grabs, multiple cat calls, attempted bag grabs, and oh, apparently now I have to worry about sex trafficking. I look up and I see the massive building, built by and for men. I feel SO small. I see a man ahead riding really fast on his bike, so I approach the walk light like a jaguar. Kind of crouched, head a little down, legs flexed & strong. You never know ! Gotta be ready to run!!

I walk into a very impressive & almost intimidating Bank of America on a busy, expensive street. The line is filled with tall & short strong looking men, I am the only female. Most tellers are male, and the manager walking around asking to assist the customers in line is a strong looking man. He asks the men in front of me what they need, and they say something simple enough to where he only needs to reply with a smile, "the teller will help you soon".

Now, he approaches ME with a confused question on his face, almost to tell me, "what the heck are YOU doing in here". And by YOU, I mean a woman, and you know it, you just will never admit it. He asks how he can help me, but NOT with a smile. I say "currency exchange". He then asks a question that confuses me but quickly follows up with, "are you a customer of our bank?".

I have been a customer of Bank of America since I was 16, you sexist piece of shit. I have opened a business, personal, and savings account, and multiple credit cards. I probably make as much money as he does. He then goes on to simply tell me, "sorry but there is no time to order you the money you need, it won't get here in time". He DOESN'T EVEN CHECK!!! He just says this at the top of his mind, with no further assistance for me.

Oh, and then he checks out my simple glittery Sperry boat shoes before he walks away.

NOW, I know you are thinking, "but this isn't sexist". So I will stop here to explain further. Do you understand that my daily interactions with men are rarely pleasing and KIND? Do you understand that every day I have to continually ask and ask and ask and ask AGAIN AND AGAIN for further assistance and for men to HEAR ME? I always need to repeat, "Look again, look again, please help me, please look again".

Imagine this was a MAN to MAN interaction. The manager probably would have interacted with him MUCH differently. He maybe even would have SMILED. He would have ASSUMED he was a customer of the bank. He maybe would have said, "I am so sorry man, if there is anything else I can do I would love to help you." or maybe "Oh let me call a different branch for you". Instead of just scurrying me out.

This is just one example but things like this happen to me DAILY. There is a huge difference in daily interactions in regards to RESPECT. That is the difference. That is what sexism is on the most discreet level, and I won't tolerate it.