the Gretchen effect Part 2.

My boss at BCBG was a white female, named Gretchen. My intuition and gut is so strong that I knew I wouldn’t like her before I even met her. I knew this by the way people spoke about her, not directly. It was what they weren’t saying that triggered this feeling. She was a strict disciplinarian. 

And in my very modern mind, that is not a good thing. Too much structure, too many rigid rules, too much oppression and hierarchy - never a good thing.

Gretchen expected military perfection in everything - in a simple email, in every excel sheet. She would call out and micro manage the smallest things. She was devoid of good emotion and warmth. It removed my ability to be myself and own my personality. I felt like I needed to read my emails four times before I sent them because she would give me a dreadful stare if I said something “wrong”.

She was my anti-thesis.

But what was wrong with what I was saying? I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t figure out the politics.

I pushed myself to keep my head down, work fast, suck it up and get shit done. I wasn’t there to make friends, and I hated it. I was depressed.

I did what I do best - I focus on what is working, mostly outside of work. I needed the job because I needed the money. I wanted this career path and I knew if I kept going it would get better.

But I was miserable. And it was changing my personality, not in a good way. I was absorbing her bad attitude and her anger at the smallest things.  I was taking it out on nice people around me.

And still, no matter how hard I tried, I could’t figure out the politics.

What were the politics? They were side discussions that managers would have using corporate lingo. 

Was it smart? Maybe. I was still figuring it out. Was I stupid? My SAT scores & my inner dialogue tell me otherwise. So no, I wasn’t “stupid”. Whatever that means.

I was aware.

I was aware that what they were saying, these “political” work arounds. Talking in a circle instead of being TRANSPARENT. Instead of just saying what you mean they would speak in this awful corporate speak that meant nothing to me.

That was it. Transparency. Four years later I figured it out. I was four years ahead of them and I didn’t even know it, but I felt it.

My next role made me feel like I had blindfold removed from my eyes and shackles taken off my wrists.

My current hair addition obsessions!

 I have currently been masking with the SheaButter hair mask and it is delectable. It feels like whipped cream when you put it on. Is very emollient and feels cool and hydrating. It smells nice but is natural and not overwhelming, not too fragrant.

I have also noticed my hair growing noticeably longer after using the growth oil by SheaMoisture. I use it both on my ends and my scalp. I rub it into my scalp, and scrub with my nails. And I try to leave it on for half of the day while I am running errands.



     

       

Top Self-Portrait Outfits - Amazing Prices

         

       

10 secret ways to text your crush without being annoying

1. The best secret way to text your crush without being annoying is to text them early in the morning with “hey cutie” every once in a while, definitely not every morning, but once every few weeks. They would perceive you as being caring but not being over bearing, naggy, or needy. It is important to text periodically while simultaneously keeping your distance so they know that you are an independent person. Also, since most people do not text in the morning - it is a cute and spontaneous way to reach out to someone. “Hey cutie” also does not indicate the initiation of a long conversation - it’s more of a short check in, so the person receiving the text will not feel pressured to text too much back, especially if they are not big on texting. 

2. One secret to text your crush without being annoying is to pace out your texts so they don’t feel overwhelmed by you. Even mark the days that you do text them in your calendar so that you don’t feel anxiety or overwhelmed by having to keep track. You might be surprised to find out that you are either texting too often or not enough. You want your crush to know you are around and possibly interested, you want to encourage them every now and then, especially if they are shy. Keeping a spaced out pace of texts will also encourage them to text you first, once in a while. If they haven’t heard from you in a while and are accustomed to talking to you, they might reach out first just to see what you are up to. One example is to text the person on a Wednesday but then don’t text again until the following Thursday. Keep the days & times paced out as well - so you become spontaneous.

3. Another secret to texting your crush without being annoying is to space out your reply times after they text you. Every once in a while, wait 30 minutes to an hour to respond. This way you do not seem too overeager. And then you can counter the spaced out text with faster texts a few days later. Remain unpredictable! It’s important to let the person know that they are not your priority. This is an attractive quality in a person. If you feel confident enough - you can even wait up to two days to text someone back! This will definitely make you seem more mysterious. 

4. A secret way to text your crush without being annoying, every once in a while, is to send a photo of what you are doing. Its more personal than a written text and it helps them visualize exactly what you are up to. Sending them a photo of you that is not already on instagram or social media will also feel more personal. If you text them a photo that you posted on social media, and they may have already seen it, it may seem odd for them to receive this photo in a text. This photo should be sweet - either of you with a dog, or you with your niece - and add a cute message - example: “look at this cute dog I met today”. 

5. A secret way to text your crush without being annoying and to keep your crush excited, text them photos of you when you are out with your friends. Especially if you didn’t tell them you were going somewhere. It will be a surprise. Sending fun, flirtatious pictures of yourself doing something will make you seem more relatable and human. If you seem social it will inspire them to want to be around you. And don’t be afraid of the stigma around those 1AM texts! Keep it fun! You want this person to know that you have boundaries, but remain playful - you don’t want to seem uptight, it is a very fine line. One fun consequence of texting at 1AM are late night phone calls - and a lot of truth can come up in those types of calls. Those are the times that you can get to know someone very well.

6. Another way of texting your crush without being annoying is to once in a while text your crush with “hey babe just thinking of you” ! This is a sweet way to let them know you are interested and thinking about them without being obnoxious. Remember, keeping your distance is attractive and lets the other person know that they need to work for your attention. If you are always available to them or texting too often they will either take advantage of you or not appreciate you. There is truth in the saying - distance makes the heart grow fonder. For example, if you haven’t texted your crush in a few weeks - throw this type of text in so they know you haven’t forgotten about them. Also, make sure you take hints from them as well - you don’t want to continue to text someone if they aren't showing any interest in return - that is simply a waste of your time. 

7.  Once in a while, just for fun, if they text you and you are busy: tell them you are busy and that you will text them later. Even if you are not busy ! Pretend that you are! This way you don’t seem too readily available to them at all times. This will also surprise them - because most people assume other people are not busy. So placing some boundaries will also help to train the person as to when they should text you and how often. Ambition is also an attractive quality, so if you are always pursuing something, and therefore busy, they will find you more attractive. If your crush texts you last minute wanting to hang out, don’t say yes, even if you want to! This will help give them those boundaries. For example, if they text you at 7pm on a Saturday asking you to go to dinner - tell them you already have dinner plans - and don’t reveal the gender of the person you are having dinner with! This will keep you mysterious. Even if you don’t have plans, pretend that you do! 

8. One secret to texting your crush without being annoying is to simply ignore them once in a while. It’s not being mean. It’s simply reminding them that you are a priority and they are not. Especially in the early stages of dating, you must remind them (both parties) that your personal self is of utmost importance. The more you respect yourself & your time, the more your partner will! Also, ignoring someone also reminds you to stick to your guns and stick to your own plans. You never want to drop existing plans for someone who is not your significant other yet, especially if you are not certain whether they are taking you seriously or not.

9. One secret way to text your crush without being annoying is to text them when you are leaving for a trip and tell them you would be excited to see them when you get back! And do not text them the entire time you are away, so they can anticipate your return! Also, do not post too many photos on social media while you are away so that you have something to share with them in person when you get back. This will also help keep you mysterious. Your crush will be wondering what you are up to if you don’t continually post photos on social media - some things are meant to be kept to yourself - do not share every aspect of your life with your new person. Share information piece by piece. This will keep your crush craving more information from you. If you give all information out in the beginning - the mystery will be gone and they might even decide too early on that they do not like you in return. It takes time for people to get accustomed to you - no matter how great you are - and it takes people time to remember things about you. So keep trying but not so hard that you are discouraging yourself. If your crush is not giving you any hints in return, and you are feeling disappointed and sad, move on. Your personal health is of the utmost importance. 

10. One secret way to text your crush without being annoying is to text them with a funny meme at random. Don’t do this too often but every once in a while to keep it spontaneous and different. Make sure the meme is in line with your political beliefs so that you are also teaching them a bit about yourself simultaneously. Even go as far as to create a custom meme using an app! This will also make it more personal. Also, don’t text them with a very well known meme that they have most likely already seen. You can find some really cool low-key memes on tumblr that are not on instagram. Showing your crush something new will make them realize how interesting you are and will make them want to be around you. Be very careful with how you select the meme - sending the wrong meme can also be a huge turnoff! So make sure you are aware of what this person’s interests are and are attempting to send them something you know they will like. If you send them something they do not like, they might associate you with what you are sending them and may decide to not text you in return. 

220 cute nicknames to call your boyfriend

220 cute nicknames to call your boyfriend

There are so many cute pet nicknames to call your boyfriend, and below are a lot of them - 220 of them, not just a few. Cute nicknames are fun so that your man can feel special, even if he won’t admit that he likes to hear it. Definitely don’t call him these cnames around his family or friends, keep it special between the two of you and use sparingly and in between. Space them out - don’t use them too often. Make sure you use them over the phone and via text message as well, not just in person. Especially over the phone during long conversations. These are by far the cutest nicknames you can use with them or to use as code names with your close girlfriends for guys you don’t want to call by their real name in public. 

You should definitely use a lot of these nicknames if he is having a hard week at work or in a sad mood, it will make him feel taken care of. He will associate you with the nicknames you choose, because it will be a reflection of you, so choose these words wisely. Also, choose the ones that pertain the most to his personality - or the ones that you want him to improve on. Always encourage him to be a better man. For example, if he has been working out a lot, make sure to call him hunk, or hulk, or superman.

You can use these nicknames in the morning when you are cuddling, over the phone if he is upset, in the kitchen if you are cooking together, while you are snuggling and watching television or if you are out at dinner. You can whisper these in his ear or say them out loud. If your boyfriend is a tough guy - he might even appreciate these even more. Think about how cute it is to call a big large man a teddy bear or something sweet? It’s a bit of an oxymoron and he will love it. If he doesnt, you can switch over to the sexy nickname options below. But really though, do you want to be with someone that you can’t use these nicknames with?

If you have a TYPE A guy I would reduce the amount of times that I use this. He will not appreciate it as much as a type B guy. A type A guy is more independent and will associate these words with YOU. See how that works? If you use the words sweetie pie, it makes you look and seem sweet. Therefore, if you use these words too much, your type A guy will think you are too sweet or overly nice and therefore he will be annoyed and might not appreciate it. Your type B guy is probably super sweet. So you can use sweet words with him but if you want to encourage him to be a littler stronger you can attempt some of the sexy nicknames below. Your type B guy will never get sick of you using these on him.

Type B guys are generally more thoughtful humans. So if they are kinder and thoughtful, and you use these words on them, they will in turn think of you as being kind and thoughtful, which will help bring the relationship stronger. Creating nicknames helps with the relationship because it creates a bond between the two of you that no one else has. Common names that other couples use can also be used in conversations over dinner - you can all laugh about all of the silly but fun nicknames that you use to describe one another. 

Nicknames are special because when they have animal like or food like titles, they resemble the 

angel, puppy, dollface, babe, sweetie pie, angel face, sugar plum, bestie, best friend, lover, hun, sweets, sugar, baby face, baddie, love, snookums, wonder boy, sweet boy, honey bear, angel bear, bae, dear, boo boo, bo bear, love bucket, bf, boyfran, babers, lovey dovey, boyfriend in training, cuddle bunny, daddy bear, baby bear, silly goose, snuggle bug, snuggle muffin, sweet cakes, sweet pea, teddy bear, bear, muffin butt, wonder boy, meatball, monkey , monkey bear, panda bear, prince charming, rich boy, poor boy, smart boy, nerd boy, moose, moose bear, moochie, kiss face, pretty boy, lover boy, quiet boy, smelly pants, smelly boy, astronaut boy, car boy, basketball boy, football boy, lazy boy, shy boy, brainiac, apple, care bear, cute pants, button face, taco boy, marshmellow, oreo, pancakes, pudding, sweet potato, sugar lips, my prince, my savior, my saving grace, sexy dork, bubba, bubbly face, poo face

Sexy Nicknames

Here are some sexy pet nicknames to call your boyfriend. This can help turn him on, encourage him, make him feel sexy & wanted, or simply be fun for him to hear. Make sure to use these as well over the phone or via text message. Even pick up the phone once in a while and have a real conversation! Surprise him with random text messages throughout the day. Men will not tell you that they appreciate to hear these things, but they really do. They love hearing more about themselves but won’t ask you to. You will need to remind yourself to do this on your own.

These nicknames will work better on your type A guy. If you use these sexy names if will in turn make you look like a strong, sexy independent woman, which type A men are drawn to. If you use these words too often, your man will not appreciate it as much either, so use sparingly. 

You will need to choose wisely when you use these words with your type B man. He will either love it or hate it. He might even tell you if he hates it.

You should definitely use a lot of these nicknames if he is having a really hard week at work or in a sad mood in general, it will make him feel taken care of. He will associate you with the nicknames you choose, because it will be a reflection of you, so choose these words wisely. For example, if you call him sexy, he will view you as being sexy. If you cal him hot stuff he will view you as being a hot person. If you call him bad boy he will think of you as his bad girl and so on. Also, choose the ones that pertain the most to his personality - or the ones that you want him to improve on. Always encourage him to be a better man. For example, if he has been working out a lot, make sure to call him hunk, or hulk, or superman. If he is super smart but still hot - call him a hot nerd. That is one of my favorites. 

Gorilla, prince, handsome, big boy, baller, G, gangster baby, tough daddy, tough boy, hunk,  hulk, bad boy, daddy, papa, baddie, baby daddy, iron man, stud muffin, zorro, casanova, dreamboat, heartbreaker, heartthrob, hero, hot stuff, hot stud, sexy pants, stud muffin, hot stuff, sailor, sexy pants, sir, soldier, sweet thang, sweet thing, sweetness, sweetnums, hot nerd, heart throb, eye candy, superman, batman, spider man, popeye 

Not so nice nicknames

These not so nice nicknames are probably more for your ex-boyfriend or you can use when you are mad at him. Make sure he knows he can’t use you, walk all over you, or treat you badly. These are pretty aggressive nicknames, so use wisely. These are to be used by man-eating females only. Remember, don’t use these words in public, you always want to sound prim and proper in public, but be yourself in private. That is the best way to handle things. 

You can use these while fighting, but you want to be careful not to insult him too permanently so try to make up for it quickly after a few hours.

You should definitely use a lot of these nicknames if he has recently cheated on you. Don’t worry too much about what he thinks of you after you call him these names because he will have definitely warrant you using these. No man should ever cheat on you, cheating is definitely outdated and shows that he is less of a man. So feel free to use a lot of these over the phone, via text, and especially out loud in person. Feel free to embarrass him in public - so many things are public and transparent these days. The more you let people know they can’t treat you a certain way the more likely they are to respect you. 

Treating someone with disrespect is outdated, and although I don’t condone violence or aggression i do think standing up for yourself is very important. So if you are in the mood for using these harsh words, and he deserves it, then go ahead!

You could use these words to tease your man as well. But be careful you don’t want to tick him off permanently. If you just simply want to put your man in place you could belittle him a little by calling him your “work boyfriend” or “weekend boyfriend”. This will encourage him to change subconsciously. This is an indirect way for you to tell him you are upset with him and call him out on his weakness.

Playboy, robin hood, fuck toy, trap king, boyfling, boy toy, side kick, mansnack, work boyfriend, friends with benefits, friendboy, semi-boyfriend, text message boyfriend, weekend boyfriend, homie, dude, poop face, fuck face, shit face, alpha male