Dear men.

Dear Men, I can't get through to you. Not through my nude pics and not through my rants on instagram. It's impossible and I know, I understand, why you don't understand why I am so angry.

So I'll do it this way.

 Imagine you are 5'0" tall. You are skinny. You have big curly hair. And, you are female.

I'm walking through downtown San Francisco on a busy day. I can feel a few mens' gazes but I look straight ahead with a strong fixed poker face like I always do and pretend not to see them through the sides of my eyes. I hear a tall man behind me, I can tell he is tall by where his voice is coming from, and I clutch my bag a little harder. My man radar is permanently on high considering past experiences - butt grabs, multiple cat calls, attempted bag grabs, and oh, apparently now I have to worry about sex trafficking. I look up and I see the massive building, built by and for men. I feel SO small. I see a man ahead riding really fast on his bike, so I approach the walk light like a jaguar. Kind of crouched, head a little down, legs flexed & strong. You never know ! Gotta be ready to run!!

I walk into a very impressive & almost intimidating Bank of America on a busy, expensive street. The line is filled with tall & short strong looking men, I am the only female. Most tellers are male, and the manager walking around asking to assist the customers in line is a strong looking man. He asks the men in front of me what they need, and they say something simple enough to where he only needs to reply with a smile, "the teller will help you soon".

Now, he approaches ME with a confused question on his face, almost to tell me, "what the heck are YOU doing in here". And by YOU, I mean a woman, and you know it, you just will never admit it. He asks how he can help me, but NOT with a smile. I say "currency exchange". He then asks a question that confuses me but quickly follows up with, "are you a customer of our bank?".

I have been a customer of Bank of America since I was 16, you sexist piece of shit. I have opened a business, personal, and savings account, and multiple credit cards. I probably make as much money as he does. He then goes on to simply tell me, "sorry but there is no time to order you the money you need, it won't get here in time". He DOESN'T EVEN CHECK!!! He just says this at the top of his mind, with no further assistance for me.

Oh, and then he checks out my simple glittery Sperry boat shoes before he walks away.

NOW, I know you are thinking, "but this isn't sexist". So I will stop here to explain further. Do you understand that my daily interactions with men are rarely pleasing and KIND? Do you understand that every day I have to continually ask and ask and ask and ask AGAIN AND AGAIN for further assistance and for men to HEAR ME? I always need to repeat, "Look again, look again, please help me, please look again".

Imagine this was a MAN to MAN interaction. The manager probably would have interacted with him MUCH differently. He maybe even would have SMILED. He would have ASSUMED he was a customer of the bank. He maybe would have said, "I am so sorry man, if there is anything else I can do I would love to help you." or maybe "Oh let me call a different branch for you". Instead of just scurrying me out.

This is just one example but things like this happen to me DAILY. There is a huge difference in daily interactions in regards to RESPECT. That is the difference. That is what sexism is on the most discreet level, and I won't tolerate it.

The definition of feminist.

The definition of feminist in 2019 is not something you can look up in a dictionary. It stands for the equality of all genders in all situations: workplace, society, well being, health etc.

The definition of feminism can also mean a bad fearless unapologetic bitch with an unwavering opinion & attitude.

White people in Corporate America.

First of all, I must say: I am an immigrant, and SO thankful for the protection this country brings. I am also thankful for the diversity that this country allows for us to have. Please do not confuse my words for ungratefulness.

But, there is always room for improvement.

The issue with Caucasians in the work force is that they are so incredibly ignorant to so many daily injustices and micro aggressions that us colored women face. And I'm not even the most marginalized! I am Middle Eastern, so I can't imagine how terrible Black women get treated! However, my daily workplace is still my jail cell and I will fight for change, however little is possible.

In office environments where I am surrounded by Caucasians, I am the last to be heard and recognized - and not because I don't speak up, I speak up constantly, but because most Caucasians are biased and wired to only hear and agree with other Caucasians. I have been literally hushed - silenced - on multiple occasions by my bosses, I mean oppressors, oh I mean bosses ;)~. I am even silenced by the Caucasian WOMEN in my office - it blows my mind. I could literally say "the sky is blue" and everyone would disagree with me, but the caucasian woman next to me could say "the sky is pink" - and everyone would agree, regardless of her being incorrect.  On so many occasions a white woman, who was not as qualified or good at her job has risen above me. My younger naive self would say, my time will come. But will it?

Will it come if I don't shout & yell? I don't think so. So this is me shouting and yelling.

There are times when I do speak up, loudly, and I am considered aggressive, or not nice. So I can never win. My options are to sit quietly and accept my fate, or stand up and fight to trail blaze for the women that will come after me. So I speak up, regardless of the shushing, and the ignoring, and the not being promoted. And I urge you to do the same.

Let's talk feminism - Aston Martin's new President Laura Schwab

Let’s talk feminism. Again. 

So last week I was chatting with my man of the moment. And he sent me a video of Jay Leno & Aston Martin’s new female president driving & talking about the car. For those of you that don’t know - Aston Martin is a very high end luxury car that is incredibly expensive.

After he sent me the video, he added a comment that said (this is a direct quote from a text), “lol, they hired this women to be the president of aston usa and she knowns nothing about the car and sounds so dumb look at all the comments”.

I immediately went into woman power feminist mode and barked back with “why are you so mysogynistic? if that was a male and sounded like an idiot you would still applaud him. She’s probably more into finance than the car’s engine”. 

His response (a direct quote), was, “No I wouldn’t applaud him she was specifically hired because of the whole feminist movement to try to make the company look good. But she's a joke, doesn’t know anything about her own car Jay Leno basically had to answer the questions”.

My genius reply was, “We (women) haven’t been afforded the same opportunities as long as you (men) have . So of course she may not be as well versed but doesn't mean you shouldn't give her a chance.”

My reply is what the feminist movement is all about - giving women a chance. I am not saying we are “better”. No one is better. We are “EQUAL”. And the only way we can truly be equal is if we are ALSO given OPPORTUNITIES, when men are constantly given jobs, pay raises, insane bonuses, for having a lot less experience than us. 

I could talk about this for days. But in short, MAN UP - we need men on our side this year, we can’t do this alone. Men need to realize that we are here for the opportunities so that WE can feed our families and provide support. We (women) are here for the opportunities so that we don't have to rely on a man and can be free from their power (and let’s be honest - sometimes their wrath). 

Feminism Marketplace

Is anyone over feminine marketplace yet?

I'm a female. I am 100% girl power. But I think it is important for people to respect us monetarily , not just in "theory" . I don't think it is appropriate to use the movement for capitalism, especially if there isn't a particular woman that is profiting from it. Because too often, do I see men succeeding too easily. And I am definitely not a man hater, don't get it twisted. I love men. But I do see the advantages that they have in the work place and in society. It's more important now, to MONETARILY support women. And not just theorize about it.