How Long Does A Man Pull Away Usually And How To Reel Him Back

There are a few things to consider about how long does a man pull away usually and how to reel him back. First, consider your behavior patterns. How do you normally interact with your man? Do you text him frequently? Do you see him everyday?

If the answers are yes, then maybe you both need some space. Too much space is not healthy. But if your man is accustomed to you always being around, maybe you need to consider focusing on your hobbies and self-care before you put too much thought into the fact that he is pulling away.

There are so many reasons why men pull away. Men can pull away from distraction from work, from unhappiness in the relationship (restlessness), and from high stress in the relationship. It’s very rare that a man is cheating, so contrary to common belief, it is not likely that your man is cheating. But I will touch on this subject more, after I speak to these more common reasons first.

First, most men love adventure and change. If a man feels stuck at work and not appreciated, either in or out of the home, he will react. Most men have been taught to keep their emotions at bay, so he will not likely tell you he is upset. So their way of acting out is to pull away and keep silent, possibly act mopey. 

Since men love adventure and change, I recommend urging him to go on a spontaneous trip together doing something a little more masculine than you are accustomed to. For example, visit the mountains of Arizona, and go on hikes. Or visit an urban city with amazing food. In some instances it good to create space between one another, but in other situations, you may want to introduce a new activity - go zip lining in Mexico, go to a tall rooftop bar in Dubai, visit Spain! There are so many travel destinations that can help bring you closer. Consider a yoga retreat, or a closer getaway to hawaii or a local resort. Switching up your scenery & enviornment will really help change your spouse’s mood. It is possible your spouse is just in a rut and needs to see you in a different perspective.

Sometimes your man may just pull away for a few days from stress from work. 

Men get very hyper focused on work. And if they are incurring stress from work or their boss, they will bring this stress home and are not as easily able to release and let go, unless they are very spiritual. Most men ruminate over information over and over in their minds when it comes to work, that is how they solve problems. The best way to reel him back is to take care of him, if he let’s you. Be supportive, don’t put more pressure on him. And as always, back away as much as possible. Let him know you are there if he needs you but don’t force yourself on him, he may just want to be left alone. 

If you want to try to get your man to open up to you about work, ask him some questions and give him some  basic advice and then back away. Give him time to think about your words. He will without him telling you

Sometimes your man may just pull away for a few days from restlessness in a relationship.

Men were raised to be competitive & ambitious. Therefore, historically speaking, they are more inclined to become restless in a relationship. What might this mean? It might mean that they are looking for excitement elsewhere, that could be a new career in a new city, or a new relationship with someone else. Men are unfortunately not as loyal as women and easily lose interest and may be looking for someone new. The reasons are usually very subtle and insignificant in the mind of a female. But unfortunately due to the difference in which each sex has been raised, this is the case. Most women do put a lot of effort into pleasing their man, and leaves them wondering why the man would want to leave. It usually has nothing to do with you, it’s all in their mind and it’s their perspective on life. Even more reason to focus on yourself no matter what. In this case there is not much you can do to reel him back, so you need to move on quickly. If he sees you with another man this may trigger his competitive responses but you may not want to go back to him any longer at this point.

Sometimes your man may just pull away for a few months because he is going through a transition at a new job.

If your man recently got a new job and has pulled away from you, I recommend simply giving him some time to get acquainted with the new role. He may be hyper focused on proving himself and will need more time to himself. He may also need to spend a lot more time at work in the beginning to prove how hard of a worker he is. In this case, you do not need to try to reel him back in, your best bet is to give it time and try to support him in the mean time. Giving him space and maybe booking a nice dinner for the two of you every once in a while would be a nice break for him.

Sometimes your man may just pull away for a few months because his work enviornment is stressful and it is affecting his behavior.

If your man has a very demanding job or a demanding boss, he may be internalizing his responses and feelings and therefore seeming like he is pulling away. If your man is in this situation, carefully try to get him to come out and express himself, which he may not want to do, so definitely do not push him. The best way to reel him back in this situation is to be there for him when and if he chooses to open up and otherwise give him his space. Focus on yourself and go out with your girlfriends. Tell him all about it when you get back home so that he senses you are not worried about him. This may trigger him to come to you without you having to ask.

Sometimes a man may disappear completely, this is called “ghosting”

Sometimes a man may disappear and you can’t seem to tell why. Most of the time it’s because women aren’t remaining present in the relationship. It’s possibly because they are actually looking towards the man as an object and validation of who they are instead of just focus on finding happiness in their life - in their job, in their own personal existence. Men don’t realize they are picking up on their intuition when they pull away from a woman. Most of the time the relationship in the beginning is fun and easy but then women tend to turn relationships into an agenda-driven focus. This isn’t their fault, this is what a woman wants. And if it’s what she wants, she shouldn't be told it’s wrong. It’s not wrong to want something but its harder and important to focus on your own needs as opposed to the man that is across from you at dinner. It is actually more fun to ignore him and make him “chase”. Men can chase for years. So don’t feel like if you aren’t available to him, that he will disappear. If anything, it will make him want you more. 

Sometimes a man may pull away after a few months of dating. This is because men make very calculated moves. Sometimes the reality is harsh, he might not be ready to settle down and you were great for just the interim. Instead of being upset by this, remember your own worth first, and use them just as much as they use you. If the beginning stages of the dating seemed perfect, and you can’t put an exact reason as to why the man pulled away - it is most likely because he started to sense you were on an agenda driven motive and possibly looking to him as an object. A lot of women are at fault for this because it is how we were raised! We are too easily prone to interacting with our thoughts instead of the person right in front of us. Instead of continuing to keep the dating easy you maybe started to bring up things like “relationship” and “future”. The problem with this is men take a little bit more time than women to make up their minds. You can be the most perfect woman on the planet, and he will still need to think about it. That’s how they are raised! 

If you cannot pin point the exact moment or the exact reason why your man pulled away just after a few months of bliss, try to think of the past few dates. It could be a few different reasons - maybe he sensed your urgency to move the relationship forward to something serious that he isn’t ready for. Although it is difficult to do, the best way to reel a man in, is to give him space, and give him great moments to remember. You want to be distant enough, but not too distant. When you are together, make sure to keep it relaxed, and don’t forget you are a prize to be won just as much as he is. It is important for him to impress you as well. Make sure you ask a lot of questions - the more questions you ask the more likely you are to come across a reason as to why you don’t think you should be with this person. This will put the ball in your court as opposed to his.

Sometimes a man may pull away after a few years of dating. This is the hardest. This may be because he has evolved personally and needs to evolve into his next relationship. Reeling him back in would be difficult. You could try to remind him of the times you have spent together. You can take a similar trip that you have taken in the past to try to rekindle the romance. And best advice would be to give him his space and find your true happiness without him. You could try your best and ask him if he is open to you moving away with him but if a man reels away after a few years, unfortunately it means you aren’t the one. 

Sometimes a man may pull away after you stop giving him enough attention. This happens to most most type B type men, not type A. Type A men do not need as much attention and validation but a type B man may need this. He may need just as much reassurance as you do. If you are a hard working female and your man is a stay at home type man, then it is possible you are intimidating your man and making him feel like less of a man. In order to reel him back in you will have to give him more attention and tell him how much you appreciate him. Some men are great at handling hard working women and not being the bread winner, and other men may need more reassurance that they are perfect just the way they are. Make sure you take him out to dinners and give him as much attention as you would like to have. This type of man is probably more emotional and similar in emotions to that of a woman. So treat him like you would like to be treated.

Sometimes a man may pull away after you put too much pressure on him to get married or solidify the relationship. A man needs to come to this determination on his own, so you can definitely drop hints and try to discuss it once in a while just to gage where he is at, but pressure indicates you arguing with him about it, which I don’t recommend. If you get the sense that his path is not the same as yours, don’t argue, just walk away from the relationship. This is the best way to get him to come back and possibly rethink what he wants out of the relationship. It’s a modern day and age where dating has become more frequent due to online apps and sticking with one partner is not as necessary as it was in the past. Women are more inclined to be in a marriage than men because it is in our nature to be caring and empathetic towards others but also simply because most of us were told that it is important to be married at a young age. Men are not told this as often when they are younger, which is why there is such a drastic difference between men and women as we age. Women believe in the power of strong relationships and carrying a child. Men do want children but they put more of a priority on their personal success than marriage and children.

Sometimes a man may pull away if he starts to feel too vulnerable or if he has been hurt in the past.

Some men may have been hurt in the past and may hold on to it more strongly than women. Men will keep themselves from falling for you if they are worried about being hurt in the end. Women are more likely to allow a man in faster than a man allows a woman in. In this case, you may think he is pulling away but it might just be out of fear. The best way to reel him back is to communicate with him and be very kind. Make sure you spend a lot of time with him if that is what he needs and don’t put too much pressure on him to be more present in the relationship. He will eventually come around if it’s meant to be. You can prove your loyalty by always returning his calls and texts and rarely missing out on a planned date. If your man is in a bad situation at work or at home, make sure you are there for him. This will make him feel like he can rely on you and that you are a good partner to have around.

Sometimes a man may pull away if you start to distract him from his work. 

Some men get very hyper focused around work. So much so, that if you become a distraction for them, and start to try to pull them away from work, they will start to pull away from you. Men are not like women, in the sense that they put their careers first, over the family or the relationship. If they find that they are unable to focus or losing time they will pull away from you.

Sometimes a man may pull away if he thinks the sex is starting to slow down.

If your man is unfortunately very interested in sex, more than you as a person, and the sex starts to slow down, he may pull away and look elsewhere. If you have this type of man in your relationship, I recommend to let him go immediately. This is not the type of man that is interested in your health or well being. Some men are unfortunately wired a little more strongly in this category than other men, which is why they notice more than other men if the sex life has changed. Being in a sex-focused relationship is not healthy. Communication, care, and love are more important than the actual sex itself. Sex is great to have, but not more important, than the other categories that a relationship must posses. 

Sometimes a man may pull away if he starts to find you less attractive.

Some men are more shallow than others. And unfortunately if you start to let yourself go physically - by not working out, or taking care of yourself, and your man starts to pull away, you could reel him back by focusing on self care and getting your old self back together. I do not recommend staying in any relationship if your man is making you feel less of a woman. If he is treating you badly physically or mentally, leave the relationship immediately, it is not healthy. But if your man is simply pulling away, and not really saying why, and you start to work on your self care and he starts to pay more attention to you - then great! But really, wouldn’t you rather be with someone that loves and admires you at your worst? Bad hair, bad skin, but best heart ever? Same. 

Sometimes a man may pull away if he has another girl that has been flirting with him and has sparked his interest. 

Men easily stray, much more easily than women. They are not as blindly devoted or loyal, which is why you should also keep your focus on yourself and your own progress and success. It could also be that your man is cheating. You can attempt to find this out by asking his friends about his whereabouts - or asking him outright and see if he will come forward. I know it will be hard to hear, but it would be better to find out about it so you could move on with your life. Some men will attempt to cheat for years before they tell their woman about it. They want it all - the madonna and the whore. So if you feel like your man is drifting and you think he may be cheating, find out if it’s true and do something about it. 

Sometimes a man may pull away if you are not communicating with him. 

Most women tend to keep it inside if the man is not giving her what she needs. And instead of slowly communicating with him throughout the relationship - about where you guys stand etc. most women tend to explode everything at once on to their man. To avoid doing this, check in with him periodically. Have these conversations often, and don’t ruminate over the feelings you are having or keep them inside for too long. Your man will unfortunately interpret this explosion as drama and instead of communicating back with you, he will most likely pull away. 

This is not fair on his part, but that’s how men are. Your best bet here is to give your man some space and hope that he will come around. In the meantime I recommend as always, to focus on yourself. Do not allow your man’s decision to bring you down. Focus on your happiness and move forward, always.

Sometimes a man may pull away if his friends are constantly trying to get him to go out. The best way to reel him back in this case is to give him his space and give him a taste of his own medicine. Go out with your girlfriends! A lot! Post lots of photos, even mysterious ones on social media, and don’t necessarily tell your man when you are going somewhere or what your plans are. Let him guess where you are and what your next moves are. During this phase, make sure to ignore him as much as possible so he doesn’t take advantage of you. 

Sometimes a man may pull away if he feels stuck . 

Most men like to evolve and change. So if your man is feeling restless and “stuck” either at work or in the relationship itself he may be looking for an out and will pull away. One good way to reel him back in is to find out where he stands in the relationship and what his intentions are with you. If he is serious about you he will need to get his act together. If the relationship is suffering due to his behavior, and you are open to change, in hopes that it will help the relationship - you can recommend that you both move to a different city or state! This will change both your perspectives on life and you will be making a change together. It would be so beneficial and exciting for you both to experience something new together. 

The best ways to reel him back in after he pulls away

A few really great ways to reel your man back after he pulls away is to freshen up your look. If you are a brunette - do something drastic and dye your hair platinum blonde. If you are a very thin girl, drink some protein shakes and try to work out a lot and gain some weight. If you are the type to not always get dressed up, get dressed up around the house for no reason! This will spark some curiosity in him as he won’t know why you are doing it. You don’t need to reveal your reasons. Make sure you post a lot of great beautiful photos with you and your friends on social media to spark some jealousy. Schedule a really fancy dinner date with your man for no reason. This will help rekindle the relationship. Take him somewhere that will remind him of your first few dates. 

One great strategy to reeling back your man after he pulls away is to go on an international trip with your girlfriends and don’t give him too much advance warning. Another great way to reel him in after he pulls away is to spend more time at work and focus on your career. Spend more times at networking activities, and take photos with lots of successful men. Not for the purpose of dating these men, but for the purpose of keeping your man in check. He needs to know that you are a prize. 

A fun way to reel your man back in is to walk around the house in your lingerie while you cook or clean. Switch it up from the ordinary! Buy yourself flowers for no reason. Change up your fragrance. Change up the way you do your hair. Even reorganize your apartment or room. You will be surprised as to how cleaning up and changing your space that you live in will help you change mentally and spiritually. 

Another great strategy to reel your man back in is to be spontaneous - switch up your habits and invite your man to do the same. Take a bath together! See if it will make you feel closer. Take a shower together for fun! Cook together, bake together. Try something different than just sitting around & watching tv at home. Go watch a movie together and see the outdoors. Go on hikes and walk around your local museum. 

A non traditional way of reeling your man back in after he pulls away is to volunteer together. Sometimes the world can feel really disconnected and shallow and if you don’t put in effort to bring change to the world, it will not come to you. Most of the time volunteering opportunities need to be searched for. Volunteering will also help bring new perspective into both your lives. You will realize that your problems are so small in comparison to other people’s problems. Experiencing other people’s sadness will remind you to not take one another for granted.

But most importantly, only make these changes if they will make you happy and if you think that it will be beneficial to you first. Making a change for you first, so that you can affect change in other’s lives is a great thing to do, but do not change for someone just because they want you to. If you are completely happy with the way that you are , then let them go.