What is racism?

It's complicated & it's different for everyone.

But for me, for years, and in every darn situation, racism is that thing that you can't quite put your finger on. It's having a hard time making friends, especially white friends. It's trying to move up and up in the corporate ladder only to be chopped down every 6 months and needing to climb back up. It's the getting fired, or laid off 4 times in 13 years. It's making the same pay for 4 years in a row. It's not being promoted when every white boss and white individual around you is being promoted, for the same, even less amount of work. It's that feeling of not quite fitting in, ever. It's being left out of invites to team parties. It's the not being taken seriously by your bosses. It's the not being heard for your skillset, for what you were hired for in the first place. It's the being given the blame, when they want to save someone else. It's the not getting a job, even though you went on 50 interviews in less than 9 months. Its the answer to "why doesn't she leave?". 

But again, and most importantly, it's that thing that you can't quite put your finger on.

It's covert, and it's deadly.

It's checking off all your boxes, and still not being fully accepted. It's not being recognized even though when you look in the mirror, you know your pretty darn perfect.

So what is it then?

Why won't they accept me?

Why won't they just let me in?

It's the ..."she's great, but...", "I really like her, but....", "She has such a great personality....but".

It's the feeling you felt for years but you didn't have the words to express. It's the feeling you felt and you knew deep inside, but you were so pure, and not racist yourself, so you couldn't identify it.

It's racism.