Fuck Dating.

Dating.

I can’t talk about dating without talking about SELF LOVE & SELF CARE first. You can drive yourself crazy dating over and over again without finding out the truth of why it isn't working out.

Here are a few rules I recommend BEFORE deciding to date:

1. Self care & self love yourself to the max in all kinds of ways, like: spiritual ritual cleansing baths. Baths can not just help to relax you, but I believe can “protect” you from bad energy by literally cleaning out toxins that are not letting you feel your best. I take baths up to 3 times a week!

2.  Journal nightly - learn more about yourself and becoming familiar with your patterns by writing out things that have happened throughout your day. This way, at the end of the week you can read about small details that happened earlier in the week that you may have repressed and realize that sometimes you repeat patterns. When you realize what these patterns are, you can consciously stop them.

3. Find out what you really want in a man by coming to terms with the TRUTH about what you want and need, what is going to fill your soul, and not by illusions of love and the type of “prince charmings” that fairy tales teach us about, because they aren’t real.

4. Realize that there is another TYPE of life that you can lead, that has nothing to do with a man: like being fully 100% independent and happy without a man - it can be done. Rely on your friends for the “love” that you need. Sometimes your best friends can provide better support than the men in your life.

I personally am now single, by choice, I LOVE IT, and I highly recommend dating ONLY for fun. Ok fine, so now I’ll talk about dating, if I must ;) 

I have personally been on all types of apps - from match, to tinder, to bumble, plenty offish etc…My personal favorite is bumble. And the reason is because what the brand stands for - which is women power. Women make the first move, and it subliminally makes men feel like they no longer have power over us, which in turn makes them feel “powerless” and kind of at our mercy (which I not so secretly LOVE). I truly believe the more women that join it, the better men will behave.

Dating can be hard. Here are some tips that I would like to share from my learnings about the process:

1. Date LOTS OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEN - you will be very surprised by what you end up liking. By different types I mean: different ages, different ethnicities, different work industries etc. If you turn it into a game, you won’t get your feelings hurt as much. 
2. If a guy doesn't return your calls, MOVE ON. I am not here to make you feel better. I am being honest and I will save you lots of unnecessary tears. Men are assholes, and they don’t care for your feelings that much. So if he doesn't return your call, don’t even bother texting goodbye. You don’t need closure. You just need a new guy ;) and fast!
3. Keep lots of men handy at all times, do not do not do not date just 1 guy at a time. I know it’s hard, and I don't mean 5 guys at a time, that is extreme. But maybe 2 , and try for 3. This way if one drops off, your fine.
4. Date your man every week or two. Do not expect to see him every night, that isn’t realistic. Find hobbies and stick to them - and actually BE busy, don’t “pretend”!! I am assuming you are a kick-ass hard working woman that socializes at night and works out - so do just that, don’t make him first.
5. Focus on yourself during the dating process. Remind yourself that you are looking for HIM to impress you (not the other way around). If he isn't 100% a perfect man to you , kick him out. i.e. If he isn’t taking you out as much as you would like, tell him directly, and see how he responds. If he doesn't respond that way you like, say bye.
6. Last but definitely not least, focus on your goals FIRST. Don’t put men or dating as a priority, because guess what, they definitely don’t put women first. Focus on that raise, that promotion, and buying yourself that new bag. You don’t need him. 

xo

Annabella

Dating in 2018 is like....

Dating in 2018 is like dating the same guy over and over again. Men are just not there yet. They aren't woke. The underlying reasons why it's not working out is because the way we were all socialized. It's possible I am being overly general - but 60 dates later. I think I have a better theory than most.

So, I think the best thing to do is just stop.

Just stop and give yourself time for yourself - for learning more about yourself, loving yourself first, and giving yourself lots of selfcare.

Give yourself more time to hang out with your girlfriends!